Warning Signs of Unsafe Dating
- Tells you what you can & cannot say
- Does not like when you spend time with friends
- Makes you account for where you have been & who you have been with
- Calls you all the time
- Hangs out around your home, school, or job for no good reason
- Makes you feel tense and afraid
- Wants you to spend all your free time with him/her
- Plays mind games to trap or trick you into saying or doing what he/she wants
- Puts you down verbally – calls you names, ridicules you, or is highly critical of you
- Discounts your feelings, your words, or your behavior
- Blames you for anything that goes wrong
- Threatens you
- Becomes angry over small things
- Behaves in ways that feel scary, so you change how you act to keep him/her calm
- Does drugs and/or drinks a lot
- Pressures you to do things that are against the law
- Pressures you sexually or has bullied/forced you into having sex
- Shoves, pushes, kicks, slaps or hits you
(Crompton, V.)
Teen Dating Rights
“I have the right to…”
- To be treated with respect
- Not to be abused – physically, emotionally or sexually
- To say NO & be heard
- To express my own opinions
- To private time & my own space
- To have my needs considered as much as my partner’s
- To have friends of my own
- To pursue my own special interests & not to be criticized for pursuing them
- To accept a gift with out having to give anything in return
- To hear about my strengths & assets
- To ask others for help if I need it
- To change my mind – to “fall out of love” & live with no threats
(Sperekas, N.)
Ways to be a Good Friend
- Listen & believe
- Encourage them to tell an adult
- Encourage them to leave
- Help them realize abusive behaviors
- Tell them they deserve better
- Tell an adult yourself
Dating Violence Myths
- It does not affect many people or only occurs among those who hang out in bars, are poor, or are people of color
- It does not occur in gay and lesbian relationships
- Men are never victims
- Victims are free to leave at any time
- Victims are mentally ill
- This type of violence is only a momentary loss of temper
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